Finn

Week 2 Day 3. Yes.

End of Week 1, beginning of Week 2. So proud of myself Week 1 of the Sofa to 13.1K app. Happy to say that during the whole week, I didn't stop during the running sections. Though I wanted to, my mind wanted to, my body wanted to, my legs and definitely me shins and calves wanted to. Yaye for me. X

I've always been a yo-yo dieter and not quite reached my fitness goals throughout my 48 years. I've been unhealthy for most of my life and never thought that I would be here right now 48, fat and unfit. I was always the last to be chosen to join the team and had anxiety during team and individual sports in PE (Physical Education) but I never thought that I would be in this situation. I woke up last week January 2015 it was if I had woken up from a nightmare. It occurred to me that I'm 48 now and 49 this year, MY GOD I'm going to be 50 next year. NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The penny dropped, I got into panic mode, what am I going to do what am I going to do???? I know anyone reading this in their 50's or in their 60's are probably thinking, get a hold of yourself crazy person. But I've never been 50 before, I laughed at 25, teased 35 and even made fun of 45 I was like HAH! you are not going to get the best of me yet. I've got YEARS to live and to be young. I ate and drank and partied through my adult life on pies, fast foods, alcohol, ham, beef, scrambled eggs, sausage rolls, fizzy drinks you name it, I ate it or attempted to eat it. 2015 is the year that I will reach my goal. I have to do it for me. My mother died at 54 from heart problems due to weight related issues. She died suddenly leaving myself and my sisters motherless. I really miss her, she was beautiful and had so much more to give, she worked all her life and hadn't lived to enjoy retirement or her grandchildren. I just want to be happy to not feel that I am waiting for my life to begin "when I lose weight" or one day I'll get there. The day is now it has begun. I've spent all my life doing things to please others so I stopped trying. I'm looking forward to the feeling of being thin again, but I fear worse the feeling of being 50 if I'm the same weight or worse. I don't even want to contemplate how terribly that I would feel. I'm sharing this with myself and hopefully others in my situation who have decided to just do it.

This is my last chance of reaching my goal to be 75 kilos before I'm 50 in Sept 2016. Years of self doubt that I wasn't worth it or that I could never be fit or reach a normal weight. I'm sick of side glances and giggles by slimmer people when I walk into a room or pass them by on the street. I don't want to be overweight and unfit in my 50s and 60s. I lost my Mother at 54 due to weight issues. I owe it to myself to live the dream and be Happy. #50IsTheNew30. #BringIt #2015GoalMet #NewLife #NewBeginnings.