I've always been a yo-yo dieter and not quite reached my fitness goals throughout my 48 years. I've been unhealthy for most of my life and never thought that I would be here right now 48, fat and unfit. I was always the last to be chosen to join the team and had anxiety during team and individual sports in PE (Physical Education) but I never thought that I would be in this situation.
I woke up last week January 2015 it was if I had woken up from a nightmare. It occurred to me that I'm 48 now and 49 this year, MY GOD I'm going to be 50 next year. NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The penny dropped, I got into panic mode, what am I going to do what am I going to do???? I know anyone reading this in their 50's or in their 60's are probably thinking, get a hold of yourself crazy person. But I've never been 50 before, I laughed at 25, teased 35 and even made fun of 45 I was like HAH! you are not going to get the best of me yet. I've got YEARS to live and to be young. I ate and drank and partied through my adult life on pies, fast foods, alcohol, ham, beef, scrambled eggs, sausage rolls, fizzy drinks you name it, I ate it or attempted to eat it.
2015 is the year that I will reach my goal. I have to do it for me. My mother died at 54 from heart problems due to weight related issues. She died suddenly leaving myself and my sisters motherless. I really miss her, she was beautiful and had so much more to give, she worked all her life and hadn't lived to enjoy retirement or her grandchildren.
I just want to be happy to not feel that I am waiting for my life to begin "when I lose weight" or one day I'll get there. The day is now it has begun. I've spent all my life doing things to please others so I stopped trying.
I'm looking forward to the feeling of being thin again, but I fear worse the feeling of being 50 if I'm the same weight or worse.
I don't even want to contemplate how terribly that I would feel.
I'm sharing this with myself and hopefully others in my situation who have decided to just do it.