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40 & Fat to 40 & PHAT & other ramblings – you have been warned


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Hello everyone I just turned 40 in April.

I decided I had to make some serious changes in my life. I started by going to the dentist, eye doctor , going to the doctor, etc.


I'm a vegetarian 100% of the time and vegan about 60% of the time. I do not consume any type of meat or seafood but what always gets me is ice cream, baked goodies, etc. but it's about progress not perfection. so I live another day and I learn another day and I make better choices.


All of that is all fine and good but it doesn't mean jack shizznit if I cannot stand what I am looking at in the mirror, if I hate my body, if I think I am gross and fat. That kind of self body hatred is not healthy.


I mean I don't have to look like a Victoria's Secret model walking down the beach, but I should not be hiding under 4X men's T-shirts and sweatpants either. I'm not a true 4x btw I just like to hide. It makes me comfortable to wear overly large and baggy clothing to cover my overly large and baggy body.


I realize losing weight alone will not get rid of this body image problem completely.

So I decided I need to crap or get off the pot.


I started out by buying one of those Fitbit Alta bands, got the fit bit scale, I set a goal of 3000 steps a day for myself – to start, I've been doing this since the beginning of June.


I was on Facebook and I saw a few things about people who were like me and have completed 5K and 10K races.


I went online and I discovered something called "the color run". Did some research & it looks pretty awesome. looks like something that I would really be into.


Plus it is not based on running the fastest time, you can run, walk, dance, etc. to the finish line. I thought for my first 5K this would be perfect. Plus it supports the YMCA here in my area and I am actually going this week to get a YMCA subscription so I can go to work out.


Before I could change my mind I joined "the color run" for this October here in Connecticut. I got my T-shirt and my number the other day in the mail!


My thyroid went to hell a few years ago and I rapidly gained about 100 pounds. I got so depressed that I started binge eating. So I'd say between the hypothyroidism and the binge eating I put on 100 pounds total.


I lost about 25 pounds of that weight but it's not enough.


I'm pretty shy. I feel that I would be the ugly fat person of any friendship group so why put myself through that embarrassment.

sure when you see me you know I'm overweight but people tell me that I have a twisted view of what I really look like – in the bad way.


I don't know why I am here rambling about all of my personal feelings. I'm sure nobody is even going to read this, or even care about all of this personal drama, but I wanted to get it out of me, and put it out into the universe to take away.


Maybe one of you out there can relate, and wants to be buddies. I know I will never get lucky enough to find somebody who lives near me in Connecticut, but Internet friends kick a55 too.


Basically I feel like I am relearning everything. I am relearning how to eat, how to prepare food because now everything is vegetarian/vegan, how to exercise, how to dress for my body type – wearing clothes that fit and flatter versus look like tents, walking straight with my head held high, versus hunched over in shame, basically just loving myself again and allowing myself to enjoy the next 40 years of my life – God willing.


I want to live, I have dreams , I have things I want to do, and I know that feeling as I do now I'm just going to remain this Agoraphobic shut in


Thank you for reading this if you have stuck around this long.

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Hey Fran. Great post. Im like you. I wear the 4X shirts and have hypirhyroidism. Gained 80 pounds and hate what I look like. Keep us posted on your journey. I started the C25K in December . Now i am doing W9 of the 10K app. Its been fun running. The dieting sucks. Lol

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I understand how you feel Fran! I'm 46 soon to be 47 and just decided to start getting me back! Went to dentist after several years, went to doctor to find out that I have diabetes, high cholesterol, and they put me on tons of medicine! That pushed me to my turning point and that was 4 months ago! I have pushed myself with doing lots of reasearch and eating right. It's a big change in my life. I got myself and Fitbit as well (add me at ncbrown053@yahoo.com) and we can do some challenges. What we need is support and pushing each other to become better. This app is helping me just by starting. I'm only on week 1 day 2 but I feel good about it. Hope you have a good day and if looking for support hit me up!!

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I'm hearing you!

I did the colour run last year - it was so much fun... we rocked up in titus and fairy wings.. and looked pretty ordinary to some.

I've just done W1 D2... but have trouble staying on track. I did finish C25K 2 years ago using a treadmill but found it didn't quite translate to running on the road.

I initially lost 20kilos but have put 10 of it on again... which p..eeved me off no end

It has got to the point where i have 1 pair of pants that still fit for work - which suxs

So i have my 50th coming up and have had the mantra of 'No Fat At 50' going thru my head. I think that is why your post appealed to me.

No accountability is my issue to I think. I have a fitbit too so add me in if u like. Kate g

You'll rock it no worries.

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Hi Fran, I also turned 40 this year. I started with pilates reformer in January to help strenghten my lower back and then moved onto walking. I started seeing positive changes and so I decided to step up to SLOW jogging. I have just completed D1W1 of C25K. I tipped the scales at 17st back in January and I'm now down approx 2st. It's a difficult journey, but one I'm hoping to complete by eventually reaching my goal weight. I struggle with food and motivation and I'm hoping this forum will help me stay on track. Best of luck to everyone!

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Hi Everyone,

I am a 40yr old mother of 2, wife, student and full-time employee. My biggest challenge is getting started. After gaining over 45lbs in 3yrs, I do not recognize myself anymore. So many say they saw a picture or couldn't fit in an amusement ride or just got tired...well all of these things I've experienced and still getting started has been my challenge. Or I start and stop due to life's demands.

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Hi everyone!! I just read this post and all the comments and u would not believe how similIar I feel to all these comments or these situations. So I'm 34 getting ready to turn 35. I am a mother of four children, I work a full time job in Washington DC. For the last 15 yrs I have been over weight! After I had my first daughter my weight just went crazy! Like seriously 165 to 215 I moved with my now ex husband to the south and just got so depressed being away from my family and he wasn't that supportive (not blaming him) see that growth!! Lol! But I ate my sorrows and got to 265! I moved back home and started working on me lost 20 pounds and met my new husband and had babies back to back!! Over the last five years i gained all that weight back and more. In March I went to the hospital to see a friend of mine who had just had a baby! She took all these pictures! I've been fat in other pictures but these just did something to me!I looked fat! Not just plump or plus sized Barbie but straight up fat. I went to my job on a Saturday to do some work and I noticed that all my than fat friends had the weight loss surgery. Everyone around me was losing weight and here I am eating the same way. Indulging in all my favorites but I'm fat. I qualified for the surgery but the risk are so many and my babies are so young so that wasn't an option for me. I had to figure some things out. So that day I decided to give up soda!! My love!! I bought a scale bad idea!! I weighed 285 pounds! Wtf!! That first week I lost 7 pounds. Than I gave up fast food. Another 10 pounds! Than I joined a gym! I downloaded my fitness pal and Pacers and the weight just started coming off. I had some set backs but the weight just kept creeping lower! I started participating in my jobs fitness classes, I started bikram yoga. I even participated in a weight loss challenge(that I won by the way!)Taking vitamins and logging in all my food. I work out everyday. I downloaded c25k because I have graduated from walking to jogging and want to do more! And I love myself. The gym is my time, Yoga my time. I have lost. 60 pounds with my eyes set on 70 more. It's so hard to love yourself when ur busy loving everyone around u. When ur so focused on being mommy or wifey! I have felt bad about myself for so long and it led me to make silly life choices but with each victory I make on that scale I'm finding me! People around me are noticing the difference to and it's supposed to be motivating them but what I found is people like to talk about losing weighT But don't want to commit. The first step is to commit to u!! If u all need a friend or I need a friend or in the dc area I always need support if my weight is go